Byzantine Catholic Family Matters

On the Sexualization of Girls

It wasn’t too many years ago that parents debated whether or not to allow their twelve and thirteen year old daughters to wear makeup. Now the same discussion takes place among parents of six and seven year old girls. From early childhood girls routinely see images and take in messages that say

Your worth, your value comes from your sex appeal or behavior;
To be sexually attractive you must look, dress and act a certain way;
You are an object to be used to fulfill the sexual desires of others;
Ready or not: three, thirteen or twenty-three you are a sexual being.

The American Psychological Association (APA) Task Force on the Sexualization of Girls recently published report describing this cultural phenomenon and its consequences. The APA is not an organization that can be said to sympathize with the teachings of the Church, especially the Theology of the Body. However, it is instructive to see how there are serious consequences when sex and sexuality are equated with pleasure and the person is objectified. Sexualization can result in girls being anxious about their appearance if not ashamed or disgusted about it. It can lead a girl to lack assertiveness when confronted with sexual advances. It has contributed to the problem of eating disorders. It has contributed to increased rates of sexual harassment and sexual violence, and wittingly or unwittingly increased the demand for child pornography. The report even cited one study, which showed how girls wearing school uniforms were more likely to be viewed as academically capable than girls wearing the sexually provocative clothing marketed to them.

If girls are socialized to believe that they are objects to fulfill the sexual desires of others, then certainly boys are receiving this same message about girls. The current practice of "hooking up" – that is, seeking gratification in brief sexual encounters with acquaintances and strangers outside the context of a "committed relationship" – appears to be one direct consequence of the sexualization of girls.

What is most alarming is the extent to which parents and children are buying into this. Why skip childhood and adolescence and move right into quasi-adulthood? Three things may be happening here. Some parents actually believe these messages and have a very distorted understanding of sexuality. Other parents may be attempting to live vicariously through their children. Yet others may feel powerless to do anything.

Parents whose Christian faith is central to their lives must become acquainted with the Church’s teachings on sexuality – especially the teachings of John Paul II (Theology of the Body) and strive to live this good news in their own lives and pass it on to their children. The APA actually recommends that parents who are religiously inclined look to the teachings of their faith for guidance. Parents also need to attend to , critique and challenge the messages about sexuality – both covert and overt – they and their children are receiving from all media sources. Talk about it. Be aware of what is going on in the community and in cyberspace. Most importantly love your spouse and love your children selflessly. Let the message be clear: each and every family member is a person, not an object.