Byzantine Catholic Family Matters

Renewing the Christian Family II

The Monastic Life and the Family, An Introduction

When I recently told my friend Mother Marija, abbess of the Byzantine Carmelites' Holy Annunciation Monastery in Sugarloaf, Pennsylvania that I was writing this series, she seemingly turned the tables on me saying that monasteries are dependent upon devout Christian families for their vocations. Yes, we are living in a secular age when families have much to learn from monastic communities; however, in the end, monastic communities will flourish as devout Christian families provide vocations to the monastic life. Devout Christian families following a monastic ideal are those in which "children grow up in parishes and families where learning to pray, to listen to God, becomes a normal part of daily life" (Emphasis added.) (Mother Raphaela, Living in Christ, SVS Press). This is worth repeating and spending some time contemplating: "where learning to pray, to listen to God, becomes a normal part of daily life"...as normal a part of daily life as getting the children off to school, going to work, preparing dinner, doing the laundry, mowing the lawn. Yes, this is what encompasses Christian family life. The Christian family works and prays together - and up until the last one hundred years or so, Christian families generally did work together beyond the household and yard tasks we do today, including the education of children! There was no separation of the workplace and the household. Ora et labora, work and prayer, is the motto of the Benedictines.

To visit a monastery such as Holy Annunciation Monastery (see www.byzantinediscalcedcarmelites.com) is to see women living a God-centered life – as at home at work in the garden, the bakery, the stable, as in the monastery church at prayer. There is a rhythm to the life: time for prayer, time for work, time for study, time for recreation. And in this community people do not come and go, for the sisters take the vow of stability – a vow instituted by St. Benedict. A new monastic professes a vow of stability to a particular monastic community. In a paper on this vow, theologian Gerald Schlabach noted “it is no use discerning appropriate ways to be Christian disciples in our age if we do not embody them through time, testing, and the patience with one another that our good ideas and great ideals need…” To me, the manifestation of the vow of stability in the Christian family is found in the married couple’s faithfulness and loyalty to one another and their children. It is about emotional and psychological bonds to family members. It is about family identity, not that we are the best, holier than thou. Rather that we are a Christian family loved by God and loving God, loving one another and committed to one another, enjoying one another’s company at work and at prayer, and, when necessary, willing to expend the energy to work out differences. Stability is not about severed, unhealed relationships, emotional cutoffs, divorce or infidelity.

When there is stability in the Christian family we know whom we are coming home to at day’s end; we are there for one another, helping each and every family member in her or her theosis. Given the documented difficulties of adults and children following divorce, it is no surprise to find that stability is a cornerstone of the monastic life. Likewise, married couples need to redouble their efforts to grow in love and commitment as they continue their journey toward God and shepherd their children.