Byzantine Catholic Family Matters

Renewing the Christian Family IV

The Monastic Life and the Family: Poverty – An Introduction

You can have it all. You can do it all. You can have it and do it now. What is it? Countless websites on the Internet, hundreds of channels on cable television. iPods. SUVs. Laptops. Designer clothes. The list seems infinite. Yet we are finite beings who belong to God – the One to whom our lives need to be oriented. As Byzantine Benedictine Father Leo Schlosser commented to me, too many marriages (and families) are focused on a "crass materialism" –essentially a turning away from God. It is the monastic vow of poverty that allows the monk to keep focused on God. St. Basil the Great, founder of Eastern monasticism, spoke so pointedly of the absurdity and danger of material wealth – words that each and every one of us in our affluent society need to seriously ponder: "The devil has dreamed up a clever scheme: he suggests innumerable occasions for spending to the wealthy. They come to regard useless and superfluous things as necessary. No amount could be adequate for the expenses they can think of." And so it is an endless, escalating cycle of work and acquire. With each acquisition there is a period of satisfaction, but inevitably there is something (or someone) else or something (or someone) better on the horizon. Indeed St. Basil’s observations are consistent with what we observe today. Things that we were once able to live without quite well, we now say we cannot live without.

The monastic ideal says no to all of this: Live life so that you have time to listen to God in your heart. It is about living your life so that you have time to be present to your family. It is about living your life so that what you yearn for most is God, not the latest CD, the most up to date fashion, or more than you need. It is about being generous to those in need. It is not about being destitute or possessing nothing. It is about living life in simplicity and moderation. Nonetheless, it is anathema in a society where we are taught that more is better, you are what you own, and we are entitled to whatever we can afford – or at least have the credit with which to buy whatever we want. Today we find homes that once served as more than adequate houses to families with three, four, and even more children being torn down and replaced with what many have dubbed "McMansions" for families often with one or two children.

The words of John Paul II at the World Day of Prayer for Peace in 1990 are quite relevant here: "Simplicity, moderation and discipline, as well as the spirit of sacrifice, must become a part of everyday life, lest all suffer the negative consequences of the habits of a few."

How does a family begin to live with a monastic spirit of poverty in such an affluent, materialistic society? I will be the first to say that it is not easy. The temptations are all around us. First and foremost we need to turn our focus toward God and away from things. We need to consistently set aside time for family prayer before meals and in the evening at the very least. We need to question, laugh at and dismiss the clever marketing devices that serve to cultivate desire in us. (This can be particularly helpful when families are watching television together and viewing commercials.) Finally, and this is a most difficult step, we need to question our consuming habits and material "needs." Do we really need what we desire? What are the potential negative impacts on me, other family members, family relationships, and even the larger community if I/we do or purchase what we desire? Will it help us love God, love one another, and love our neighbor? Are we good stewards of the fruits of our labor?

In the next part of this series we will look more closely at how we can practically address these questions in our own families as we strive to move, albeit often in baby steps, toward living more God-centered lives.