Byzantine Catholic Family Matters

Renewing the Christian Family VII

The Monastic Life and the Family - Living the Chaste Life

Item: Shortly before Christmas I found myself in line at the local post office where an overhead television entertains, or rather distracts, postal customers from their wait. It was a trip back about thirty years with an episode of the old game show Let’s Make a Deal airing on the Game Show Network. What struck me was how much the young model working with host Monty Hall was wearing: a knee length skirt with long-sleeved, form fitting turtleneck sweater. This is in stark contrast to the twenty-five or so scantily clad models assisting Howie Mandel on today’s popular game show Deal or No Deal.

Item: Parents who want to be aware of film ratings seem to make a distinction between films rated "R" and those rated "PG-13." Too often, however, it is as though the PG-13 is a Nihil obstat and parents happily drop their teens and pre-teens off at multiplex cinemas to see films, which, contains morally questionable and objectionable material, if not worse. Parents who take the time might see something like this attached to the rating in a movie ad: "Some material may be inappropriate for children under 13" and in all caps "SEXUAL CONTENT, CRUDE HUMOR AND SOME VIOLENCE."

We live in such a sexually saturated culture that scantily clad models in a prime time game show and "sexual content, crude humor and some violence" in movies drawing throngs of teens and pre-teens are seen as the norm and perfectly appropriate. Yes, there are parents who simply allow their young to make viewing decisions. Some parents’ primary concern is that their young people avoid an out of wedlock pregnancy and sexually transmitted disease. Family therapist and author Gregory Popcak, in his book Beyond the Birds and the Bees (OSV Press), is quite blunt when he writes that a person is not chaste by simply keeping his or her "genitals under lock and key." To recognize this is to acknowledge that living a chaste life is a challenge today. In our previous discussion we saw how chastity is grounded in our reverence for God’s creation; for from our reverence of God’s creation blossoms a spirit of sacrifice. Dr. Popcak builds on this grounding of reverence when he says that a person is chaste when he or she "know[s] how to be loving, responsible, respectful, intimate, cooperative, joyful, faithful and fully human in relationship to [his or her] sexuality."

When a husband and wife, together with their children, strive to live a life centered on their love of God and the beloved (spouse and children), on one level they cannot help but live chaste lives - to be faithful to one another and to be gift to one another. Chastity flows from living these values, these virtues; chastity affirms the true love between husband and wife. Nothing else makes sense. Yet at the cultural level the family is bombarded with hyper-sexualized images and stories, some blatant and some subtle that put sex and sexuality on a strictly self-gratifying and utilitarian plane. These messages suggest that we should live anything but chaste lives.

The family can counter these messages in large part by joyfully loving and sacrificing for one another and not focusing on the self. The family can also choose to view movies and television shows in which the values and virtues of the characters in the film are inspiring. It may take a little work but they can be found. Better yet, turn off the TV and the computer; the family can take time to explore God’s creation. It is awe-inspiring and beautiful.