Byzantine Catholic Family Matters

Television and Your Children

It is not uncommon for children and even adults to cut down on their television viewing during the Great Fast. It certainly is a distraction from prayer and reflection. As important, too many of the shows on too many stations send wrong messages. I have heard parents complain about the "garbage" that's on for their children to see. However, I have heard fewer parents talk about how television viewing is limited in their homes. Some parents seem resigned to what their children (and teens) watch on the television. Others are either indifferent or oblivious. And too few really regulate it. The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends that children watch no more than two hours of television per day – half as much as the average American child watches. Our children’s pediatrician recommends no more than one half hour of television per day. If a child’s television viewing is to be limited and monitored, it is going to require active involvement from mom and dad.

The first things a parent can do are provide and offer alternatives to the television: board games, books, church functions, even simple conversation. Reading to your children - even after they know how to read - is a good way for families to enjoy good literature together. The Chronicles of Narnia comes to mind.

Television viewing should be a family activity and also be purposeful, not consisting of channel surfing. Know what would be fun or good for you and your children to watch. This might also include particular films on DVD/VHS format. You can also find quality non-commercial programming on PBS and EWTN.

When you and your children are watching something that is sending questionable/objectionable messages, take the time to discuss these messages. Draw the comparison with your family's values. Then, too, it may be necessary to decide that particular shows are not age appropriate. Don't be afraid to stick to your guns.

Parents, too, are the best models for their children. Make your television-viewing active and time limited; watch specific, worthwhile shows.

Much the same can be said of the Internet - with the added dimension of instant messaging and chat rooms and the inherent risks they pose. As with the television, the use of the Internet by children and teens needs to be monitored by parents.

If parents are going to be able to actively participate in their children's television watching and monitor their Internet use, it is helpful to have one television for the family and one computer with Internet access, with both kept in a frequently used room such as the family room.

I used to consult at a nursing home where, as I walked down the hallway, I would hear Jerry Springer coming from one room, Oprah from another, a soap opera from yet another… And I heard very little conversation. It drove home to me the point that too often the television (and the Internet) is a substitute for real human contact. It is also a very passive activity, requiring very little of the viewer. When we turn off the television or turn off the computer, we are forced to do: talk, read, create, play a game, think, and maybe even pray. Give you and your children a gift: turn off the television.